I miss writing.

i’ve had such a writer’s block. I thought being sad would inspire new words but instead, I struggle to even pick up a pen.

I hate this.

A part of me feels weak. I know I deserve better, I know breaking up was the best possible option, I know I need to move on and concentrate on myself.

But damn, I am so sad.

Even when everyone around me is laughing and smiling and I try so hard to be present. Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes it’s so hard.

I’ve just never felt so disposable. It was a low fuckin’ blow. Especially after an incredibly, incredibly hard year of building myself back up.

And now it’s like I have to pick myself up again, build myself up again, remind myself I love myself again. Constantly.

But it becomes hard, you know, when you’re sad.

A part of me feels weak and the rest of me is screaming that it’s okay to be sad, let it out girl, you were depressed a year ago relapses happen, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’ll be okay.

 

 

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