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Monthly Archives: July 2016

do you know that feeling

you get in your chest?

it feels like a

snake has wrapped around your heart, your lungs

and it’s squeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

simultaneously your heart is runningamillionbeatsperseconditslikeyouregoingto

EXPLODE.

do you know that feeling

you get when your hands

t r e m b l e and you just can’t seem to hold them

still?

or that feeling when

your stomach is in knots, it feels sick

and you’re t r y i ng to breathe

but you’re afraid you’ll vomit or worse:

cry.

do you know that feeling

when your mind is suddenly

clouded

by all the things you should’ve said, or not have said, or

goddamn it, why did you do that weird awkward thing?

your mind just won’t stop runningrunningrunning

fabricating stories and lies and outrageous theories.

and damn, do you know that feeling

when the professor calls on you in class

and the

heat flushes to your face

and your mind is suddenly

blank…?

—-

this (and still a million other things) is what my social anxiety feels like. all the feelings and physical reactions contradict and overwhelm. however, these are merely the feelings and reactions i feel when in social situations/around people. the process it takes to get out the door to go to something? that’s a whole nother blog post. i wrote this one really quickly, just felt like putting some of my social anxiety into words… a lot of folks don’t understand what i mean when i mention my social anxiety and some have the audacity to tell me my social anxiety isn’t real. well… it is.